mini post about friends
just got home from being out with my friends
mm yeah i realized that i just dont feel happy hanging out with my friends anymore, and tbh this started happening after all the things alejandro used to say about them, like that they were fake, that his friends were better than my friends, that i was a shit person because i have shitty friends who are like that and make me like that, etc
and just since then, like last semester and this semester, ive just not wanted to spend time with them because i just have such negative associations with them now, and every time i'm with them, i'm analyzing how he'd perceive them vs his own friends and i just am always not happy spending time with them because of it
and the pain and negativity of what he always used to say just doesnt go away and has just left such a sour taste in my mouth with my friendships that i almost just want to drop all my friends and start over with new ones now
i just wish he could have let me be happy with my friends instead of ruining this for me
i dont have a lot of people in my life and it just hurts so much to lose these ones too
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