I am so sad all the time

I feel so lonely every day. I don't really have friends. I have "friends" but I don't really connect with them anymore. It's so lonely just being here in my room. I have nowhere to sit at lunch. Everyone else is so happy. I don't remember what it's like to be happy. I don't have a best friend anymore. Lydia is my "best friend" but she embarrasses me by hanging out with weird nerds. I've just drifted apart from everyone. I don't know what to talk about anymore. People get annoyed when I talk anyway. Hannah and Nicole have started to notice that I'm sad all the time. I almost cried when Nicole asked me if I was okay because no one really seems to care anymore. I'm fat and ugly and I can't even smile or talk without hating my teeth. No guys like me, think I'm pretty, or even want to talk to me. I have no talent. My jeans don't fit anymore and I'm going through restricting/bingeing cycles really bad. I want to die. Actually, I just don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm cutting less though, because Mommy and I aren't fighting quite as much. I am so sad all the time though and I don't know how to get out. I just don't want to feel anymore. No one seems to care anyway. It's so hard when people talk about their weekends because I was just home alone in my room. It's even harder when my friends send me Snapchats of them hanging out and no one wanted to invite me. That one day with Alice and the State Fair made me laugh for real for the first time in years. I wish everyday was like that. I wish I were happy. No one likes me. I don't know what to do. I'm too scared to talk to anyone because I don't think they'll like me. Why can't I just be one of those regular confident girls I see in the hallways? It hurts so so so so much. I don't post anything on Facebook because no one likes my statuses and pictures. I don't use Twitter or Instagram because I'm positive no one will follow me and that will just be so embarrassing. Everyone I know is so much cooler than me. No one likes me. I am just so lonely.